Saturday, July 10, 2010

If you are a dreamer, come in!

No matter the skeptics, social media (like this) has things to offer that our 3-dimensional long-distance friendships does not. Few of you may be online right now, but you will see that I have posted something that was on my mind and we will connect at different times all across the country (even the Earth in some cases). I may be out and about, taking a shower, or feeding Elek, but we will share this nonetheless. Anyway, I find the following passage beautiful because it reminds me there is beauty in weakness.

The Dance

I have sent you my invitation, the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living. Don't jump up and shout, "Yes, this is what I want! Let's do it!" Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires, spiralling down into the ache within the ache. And I will show you how I reach inward and open outward to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, everyday.

Don't tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart. Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
And see who I am in the stories I am living. And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don't tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day. Show me you can risk being completely at peace, truly OK with the way things are right now in this moment, and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring. Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall, the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will. What carries you to the other side of that wall, to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance, the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart. And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business without letting business determine who you are. When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul's desires have too high a price, let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world the stories and the songs you want our children's children to remember, and I will show you how I struggle not to change the world, but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude, knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging. Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words, holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest intentions has died away on the wind, dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale of the breath that is breathing us all into being, not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don't say, "Yes!"
Just take my hand and dance with me.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Friday, July 9, 2010

"does everyone deserve to be happy?"


i find that the concept of happiness (in terms of contentment) has everything to do with your own perception and assimilation of your environmental surroundings and circumstances.

i think contentment is something that takes work. it is like having a great body-- it's available to 99% of people... you just have to work for it. every day. little decisions about this thing that just happened or the driver that cut you off.... each reaction compiles into our level of contentment.

happy happy. the super-emotional happy.... happy vs. sad vs. angry vs. embarrassed happy... now that is something that you truly can not and should not be all the time-- without balance and calm and peace there is just no way to sustain it-- like MDMA (Ecstasy)-- it's a forced chemical response that weakens your ability to feel pure joy and elation in the future

and then there's money/riches/stuff=happy -- i think this is the fuel of demons... the empty pit that preys on possessions of others in search of that artificial MDMA high.... just to keep it going... just to get a fix "if i could just..." that mentality keeps everyone from growing

so-- all of that being said... "does everyone deserve to be happy?" i think we each owe it to our selves to strive for contentment. to seek a pure, unadulterated love that we wrap ourselves around and it wraps itself around us... the kind of love that oozes out of you-- your happiness can be contagious-- the kind of love and warmth that truly drives out fear and negativity and greed.

i just focus on me and I find that I am drawn to those who are followers of love. not leeches of my energy or people who cloud my clear sky.

Thursday, July 8, 2010


I need pen and ink. Thick paper. Ambient sound.

Disconnected. FOCUS--

I need pen and ink.

Thick paper.

Ambient sound.

Rushing water.... the glimmer of my toes in another dimension.

The echo of love reverberating through my skeleton--- resounding with my soul-- a tuning fork pulling me back.... to the core of all that is real

I need the fuel of my inner light to come through my hands and create

I need the clay of a concept, the molding of an idea, the genesis of a world change

I need to be a tree... I want to feel my roots in the cool dark Earth and for my arms to sway in the cool evening breeze and bask in the warm, still heat of the Sun

I need to connect...

I am an artist and the pen and ink and the ambient sound. I am alive and I am the dirt and the tree and the Sun. I am connected and I am the tuning fork pulling you back to the core of all that is real... I am the glimmer of my toes and I am the clay of a concept, the molding of an idea, the genesis of a world change

4:01 pm - an original

I'm no rocket surgeon....

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand apt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes
are closed.

Albert Einstein

Sunday, July 4, 2010

enjoy the journey and tell the story

I love the childlike nature of his musings-- almost Hansel and Gretel, no? The Big Bang of cookie crumbs that was supposed to lead him home has now become bird food and he is destined to wander about in awe of creation and it's biggest littleness. I, for one, think it will make for good reading. Love love love my little Jiminy cricket... oh how I need an objective view of a loud conscience that isn't a mere voice in my head but in his as well.

Jeremy and I have beaten each other in ways no only child will ever understand. We have fought and been there and talked and dissolved in hilarity in ways that all siblings should be lucky enough to enjoy. I am looking forward to hearing about his journey.

Care to join me?

The God of Not Good Enough

We live in a society that tells us that we were born into imperfection. We started flawed, we screw up every day and we are destined to continue screwing up as our lives progress. I've always deep down considered my inadequacy a byproduct of my upbringing in the super-conservative, bipolar, addicted/victimized household of either "I'm so addicted that I need God" or "I'm such a martyr/victim of my circumstance and my addicted loved one that I need God." My dad always knew he wasn't good enough. His mom always knew she wasn't good enough and imposed her unfulfilled expectations on her youngest son (and I'm sure all of her children but I only witnessed it directed toward my father.) I was never thin enough for God to love me as much as he could have.

I have self-esteem... I am confident in who I am. The God of Not Good Enough is just another perfect example of how to control the masses by abusing them emotionally and psychologically. The best way to control the masses is to make them think less of themselves. Promise them gold and riches that beyond which will ever be realized in this lifetime. The truth is, if you care about money and stuff.... you'll never realize that heaven is here and now. You are perfect. Jesus wanted the poor and the hungry to know that they deserved to have their feet washed, too. Playing with a child is entering the kingdom of God. You are perfect just the way you are and to embrace your divine nature just makes you even more you. If you do one thing today please just know that you are doing what you can to make it and that you are a divine being created and sustained by love. You and your loved ones are perfect... you are loved and you are here to love others. To experience and share love with perfect strangers and your best friends.

No Jesus that I know would disagree.

What do you think? In what ways has your divine nature been able to overcome what you were taught versus what you know is true?

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Yeah I want to throw you out into space.


(it's in the video at 3:55)

Well Jolene unlocked the thick, breezeway door,
Like she'd done one hundred times before.
Jolene smoothed her dark hair in the mirror.
She folded the towel carefully and put it back in place.

Yeah I want to pull you down into bed.
I want to cast your face in lead.
Well every time I pull you close,
Push my face into your hair,
Cream rinse and tobacco smoke,
That sickly scent is always, always there.

Jolene heard her father's uneven snores.
Right then she knew there must be something more.
Jolene heard the singing in the forest.
She opened the door quietly and stepped into the night.

Yeah I want to throw you out into space.
I want to do whatever it takes, takes, takes.
Well every time I pull you close,
Push my face into your hair,
Cream rinse and tobacco smoke,
That sickly scent is always, always there.