she giggles at my frenetic response and i feel that she can tell. and she can. and i will tell you about Rachael. how she somehow arrived and it was all meant to be and how there is no amount of squeezing on this earth that could express the undying love i have for her. anyway. who cares about squeezing. for some reason i feel like squeezing means you really mean it.
i am now here to tell you of how it came to be. the breach. the birth. the rebirth. where i am now. how i can tap in. how we are all always tapped in even if we are plugging our fingers in our ears and screaming LALALALLALALAALALAL
because the truth penetrates the ALL ... and god=truth ... there is no need for names or dogma or really anything if we are being here now... this need for classification and labels may have served someone at some time but it serves no one right here right now for me
what matters is that i just saw a homeless man on his knees on the sidewalk as i was driving. i thought he lost something but truly just intense curiosity overcame me and i had to slow to a crawl and see he was just running his fingers over the grass oh so lightly... just letting it tickle the underside of his fingers and palms and barely touching it enough to really get the grass between his fingers but to feel the lovely 66 degree temperature that feels so much more dense on the blades of grass and how they feel like god is kissing you with each touch of nature and i just had to drive past him because i was worried that I would make him feel self-conscious and really who the f*ck cares because it was so beautiful and i just could have stopped my car and wept and hugged this man but i didn't want to interrupt his moment with the grass and really this is all so intense and intensely surreal that i just couldn't stop thinking "i wish that was me" ... and now... booming from within... so deep within... from underneath my deepest depths of Self... i know YES.. HE IS ME. I AM HIM. I feel the grass and it is so beautiful and it caresses me in understanding... and i know the grass is reaching for his fingers as he is reaching for the grass and the universe is showing this to quantum physicists in labs but the universe is REALLY showing this to a precious man without a home but who is so very home on his knees on the sidewalk worshipping being here now. i know he understands. and because he understands, i understand and it is so beautiful i could weep. but there is no time to weep now because there has been no time to write. and now is time to write.
just start writing. be here now. just start writing. be here now. just start writing.
no judgment. no hesitation. no anxiety. no worry. only this. only you. only me. we are the same.