Monday, August 29, 2011

today, i am hurt

my eyes have pounding pressure behind them
waves of tears threatening to tell all my secrets

i long for a pillow when i should turn and face the rain
embrace the hurt, lick the tears
feel their shape as they are birthed from my insides

i want to hear them forming droplets from my growing blue and throbbing heart
my body gives me away today

make eye contact, stare deep down, see what you see
what version of yourself is deep at my core?

what pain is roaring in your ears begging for your immediate distraction?

my ribs can't keep still, my chest heaves with alone, hollow echoing
alone, alone, alone

we live alone, we die alone, i owe it to myself to stay here now. who will be with me if i'm not?

this poor little girl has suffered too long behind a holographic wall of false strength.. there is beauty in weakness

just like the irises fall down after the rain, they often rise again, stronger, greener, and bursting with life in the morning

i promise to never desert me again, whatever that means

i aspire to be an amalgamation

which characters have YOU fallen for - give me 1 or 10


Tom Sawyer - one word - mischief

Queen Elizabeth I - jailed, red-headed, victorious- sharp-tongued and beautiful -

Daisy in The Great Gatsby - a tragedy i saw coming from a million miles away but couldn't help but love her

Einstein - everything i've ever read about him, though he's not a fictional character, he's someone that I can't stop reading about -- and i love his silly side-- seemed like a guy who wasn't terrified of acting like a child in a beautiful way

...and a freebie (by the same token)

Frank Lloyd Wright - his autobiography, and Loving Frank, everything i've ever read about him has made me consider the way things fit together in his brain

-- i read SO MUCH historical fiction about these "characters" that i can't help but feel that they are just as real to me as any character in a book. how interesting that to read about someone makes me feel like i know them so much more than having studied them in school