Friday, January 25, 2008

1-22-08 - Thoughts before beginning Master Cleanse

Today was one of those days where IF I could have stayed in bed until noon, I would have. It was cold, rainy, and dark until at least 10 am. All night long I kept waking up with a dry mouth, swollen tongue, and that disgusting sick taste in my mouth. I had been kicked out of the bed for coughing all night (with good reason). When I took a sip of water, I could barely taste it due to the dry, swollen tongue, which somewhat came back to life when the water touched it. I've been sick since last Tuesday, which is a full week of mouth-breathing. The amount of mucus in my throat and face (sinuses) is just grotesque. I've been doing a sinus rinse since Sunday night, which has been alleviating my symptoms a bit, but the cold itself is still in my head, and I can't breathe clearly through my nose or kiss Peter without thinking how sick I must taste/smell. I just started my cycle so I'll keep record of any cramping or back pain.

So I woke up around 7, did a sinus rinse, and ate 1 1/2 mini bagels (a total of 150 calories). I got to the gym at 9 and did chest/abs and then stayed for yoga class until 10:15 am. On the way home I stopped at Chick-fil-A and got a 4pc Chicken Nugget Kids Meal for Elek and cookies-n-Cream Milkshake w/whipped cream & a cherry for me. I ate every bite and felt like a horrible piece of weak blob after finishing it.

I knew I had... or I should say.... I KNOW I HAVE given food too much control, and I am on a quest to regain control of my body and eating habits. I desperately need a physical & spiritual cleansing, and Leia (the yoga teacher) has lost 25 lbs. since last June by becoming a vegetarian and using the Master Cleanse as a detoxification fast. Other than that, I have no idea her personal dealings or constraints as far as Master Cleanse is concerned. Her skin looks great and she looks completely refreshed and glowing. I think I will e-mail her for pointers and/or support. I'm pretty sure I weigh about 160 lbs. right now, which is "normal" as far as BMI is concerned (the Body Mass Index for a female that's 5'7"), but the fact remains that I feel this addictive streak is incredibly destructive, and I need to get to the bottom of this issue and get a fresh, clean start. I want to do this until my tongue is pink again (a sign that I am cleansed thoroughly), but I can't promise more than 10 days. I am tired of thinking of myself as a weak food addict when I really want to treat my body as the beautiful temple that it truly is.

Mantras going into Master Cleanse:
"Failure is not an option."
"My body is my slave."

Things I hope to gain from Master Cleanse:
-I hope to rid my body of sickness, toxins, and meat.
-I hope to rid my body of addiction to sugar, caffeine, and meat.
-I hope to gain insight into WHY I find some of my self0worth in what I have eaten.
-I want to see what a CLEANSED me looks and feels like spiritually, mentally, and physically.

ALSO, I anticipate feeling amazing and proud of myself after having succeeded at cleansing my body.

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